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Mental Health Isn’t About Crazy People, It’s About All Of US – Akindotun Merino

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Building And Reinforcing Teams (14)
Prof. Akindotun Merino, Chief Executive Officer of JARS Education Group and the President of JARS Therapeutics

   John Michael Ojo

The issues of mental health in contemporary times have gone beyond those normally identified with crazy people on the street. These issues have become  a silent pandemic as one in every four persons is a victim of mental health.

This was the position of the Chief Executive Officer of JARS Education Group and the President of JARS Therapeutics, Prof. Akindotun Merino.

Prof. Merino  spoke at a programme organised by the Asake Centre, a Community Trauma Care Centre in  Lagos State put up by Merino with the aim of creating trauma awareness, providing affordable, available, social and psycho-social support to all Nigerians who are traumatised.

The California-based mental health expert stated that trauma among the old and the young is on the rise. Hence, the need for urgent preventive and support measures.

Merino, a Mental Health Commissioner in California, USA, said that “trauma is pervasive in Nigeria and when we talk about trauma, we are not just talking about somebody getting into an accident but rather emotional trauma.

“I’m talking about such high stress because of the things we do and everybody just says deal with it or you will be ok.

“There is rape, suicide, high rate of depression and even traffic can cause high stress.

” We have something called adverse child experiences, we have children who have experienced adversity growing up, children whose parents or guardians were abusive towards them, your boss that is being abusive towards you.

“Anything that has come to distort your life; divorce, living in a marriage that is filled with domestic violence or abuse of drug.

 

“When you hear people abuse drugs, sometimes it is not because they want to abuse it, sometimes it’s just to douse the pain of what they are experiencing

“And so, in this continent and in this nation particularly, we have to start thinking about mental health.

“Do you know that Nigeria as a country actually  loses  fifty-seven billion naira per year on mental health issues? Those are people who don’t go to work, who are not performing at their best because they have some forms of psychosis or they have some kind of depressed state that is happening with them.

“This is not just about crazy people, this is about all of us. It is not about somebody who is on the street who is mad, no, it is about all of us. It is about your father, it is about your mother, it is about yourself, about your children, it is that we are psychologically sane, it is that we are emotionally healthy, it is that you are financially buyable, it is that we are socially connected and it is that we are a community helping each other, so that we can be a better Nigeria.

“No matter how smart you are, no matter how intelligent you are, if you are not mentally well, you will not become the best of yourself.”

READ ALSO: Woman As A Powerful Force For National Development

According to Merino, JARS Therapeutics Centre will complement other government- owned mental health facilities in the state. She further noted that the centre would not act as an in-patient facility but one in which individual could easily work in and get assistance from mental heath professionals.

“What we are doing is for the community, is for the person who does not need medication but they know that there is something wrong with them, are not living their best lives and need somebody to talk to.

“We have trauma-trained specialists because we are introducing community trauma health but we also have an institute called JARS Institute and we have trained about sixty trauma specialists between 2020 and today and so, we have them in the country, we want people to know that they are there”, she said.

Stressing the importance of the centre, Merino  also lamented the lack of adequate psychiatric facilities in the country.

” It is so important because we have 250 psychiatrists or less in this country in a nation of two hundred million people. The number is just unbelievable.

Mental Health Isn't Just About Crazy People, It's About All Of US - Akindotun Merino

“So what we are doing is to bridge the gap. While the government takes care of the mentally ill, we want to take care of the middle, before you get to the place where you lose it, commit suicide, before you get to a place where you have some form of psychosis we want to be there providing affordable care. So nobody is turned away, if you don’t have money you can  come, but if you do we can charge”, she noted.

On the rate of those who suffer from trauma in the country, the mental health specialist stated that “one in every four person does”. she also stated that the Nigeria government has also come up with such a report in the past.

READ ALSO: Develop Self-Confidence: A Success Skill

She disclosed that the centre would collaborate with government and non-government organisations both locally and internationally in pursuing its objectives by creating trauma awareness in the country. She also revealed that the government could earn more than N57 billion in revenue yearly if  mental health challenges are addressed in the country.

Merino warned that if trauma issues are not properly handled, they could affect many generations of the individual through a process called epic-generics.

“If something happened to your grandfather or your grandmother and they didn’t take care of it, maybe they were abused somewhere or maybe they where pained in some kind of way and they didn’t take care of, it will move from one generation to another. The children would experience the pain of something they where not part of and this can go up to the fourteenth generation”, she said.

On what could be done, Merino stated that a communally could heal together

“What trauma has come to do is to destabilise your life, to take you away from your source of being. So, communally we heal together. According to her, it is in the context of relationship that we get hurt and also it is in the context of healthy relationship that we get healed. She therefore advised that one should “find those relationships that are healing and begin to nurture them as these would enable us to build a healthy community.”.

On his part, Toyin Sombe, a Counselling and Clinical Psychologist, disclosed that it was of no secret that without mental health there is no health as the brain which he referred to as the governor of the human system would be in disarray.

He stated that the programme was kick- starting from Lagos as the state remains the only state in Nigeria which seems to be concerned with mental health challenges in the country.

Also, a Psychiatric Consultant and the Medical Director of Tranquil and Quest Behavioral Health, Dr. Gbonjubola Abiri,  Stated that “trauma is a significant stressful life event that happens on individuals and many times, the individual is not expecting it and does not have the resources to cope with that problem at that time.”

She, however, noted that trauma differs in many people and could be affected by age, social status, economic status and emotional state of mind.

“Generally what you should look out for is a deviation from the norm. Has this person changed from how they behave, how they appear, how they look, how they dress, how they speak, how they express their thought, are they keeping to self, are they sleeping more or less, eating more or less, are they becoming more aggressive or are we noticing that in a bit to cope with their stress they are turning into harmful coping strategies such as drinking alcohol excessively, use of marijuana, or other illicit harmful substances?

“When people are under a lot of stress, they start cutting themselves, think of taking their own life and may eventually commit suicide.”

She maintained that these were the different presentations of people with trauma.

Mental Health Isn't Just About Crazy People, It's About All Of US - Akindotun Merino

Abiri said that “it was important for people to know that if your are traumatised you are not alone.

“Trauma happens to us at different stages of our lives but the most important thing is getting the help you deserve as soon as possible.

“That the help you deserve should be like a physical First-Aid”, she said.

She hoped that the initiative would not only increase the awareness of trauma but mental health in general.

She warned that the abuse of drugs especially “crack cocaine” among adolescents and teenagers was on the increase.

Dr Olayinka Jibunoh, a consultant psychiatrist and psychologist, who represented the First Lady, noted that the Lagos State government was committed to the wellbeing and welfare of residents and as such, no stone would be left unturned in ensuring that residents of the state get the best form of health care, including mental health in the state.

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Narrating her story, a  mental health trauma survivor, Mrs Eniola Adetunro, who was among the panellists revealed how she became traumatised after being raped at the age of 13 by seven men and taken advantage of by her step brother whom she confided in as the brother became another rapist who slept with her severally, a condition which almost shattered her dreams, affecting her education, self-esteem and the early stage of her marriage until she discovered the Federal Neuro-Psychiatric Hospital Yaba where she was helped.

While  responding to newsmen, the executive director of Virgins Pride Foundation, Lagos State, Dr. Nkechi Cicilia Odebiyi, noted   that the wellness centre will help to reduce the number of  people walking on the street. She stressed that most of the youths come from dysfunctional homes with nobody to talk with and are often left in the hands of religious leaders who offer prayers but never attend to the psycho-social needs of these individuals. She also hopes that Nigerians will take the opportunity of the centre by seeking professional help for a better society.

 

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Mental Health

Strong Mental Will: A Tool For Fulfilment Of Dreams 

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The Futility Of A Marital Chase
Dr Hope Nwawolo

By Hope Nwawolo

As a young girl in a boarding school many years back, l found myself interested in reading articles and novels. One day, l picked a piece of torn paper from the ground and a particular sentence caught my attention.  It read, “…whatever you are as a young girl will determine what you become as an adult’’.  Without giving a thought to the fact that situations and people could change according to circumstances, my young mind went to work immediately, particularly on how l wanted to look as a woman years later. At that time, l was on the fat side. I told myself that l would not want to develop a bulging tummy as a woman. I never even gave thought to the changes women go through as a result of child bearing. However, my young mind knew l needed to do something immediately in order to achieve what l wanted many years after.  I took my house dresses and school uniforms and used my hands to take in the sides so that l had to tuck in my tummy any time l wore them.  Somehow l felt l could control my tummy from getting bigger if l kept it tucked in most of the time. And of a truth l did and needless to say that some students liked my style and did same to their uniforms. Talk about setting the pace!

At the time of taking the decision, l never even knew it was lady-like to tuck in your tummy. All l was seeing was me as a woman in future, without a bulging tummy. It never crossed my mind that child bearing or any abdominal surgery could discourage one from tucking in the tummy at will. And years later, after having four births, of which two where through caesarean sections, I have maintained the habit of tucking in my tummy and this has helped in sustaining a moderate waist line even as l increase in years.  

Another striking instance was when l went in for my masters’ degree. I told myself l would not stop my academic education until l had my doctoral degree. Sadly, before l finished the masters’ programme, l came across several doctoral students who had been on the  programme for upward of six years and were not near completion. I got discouraged and quietly finished my programme and did not look back. My mental will bowed to the discouraging sights of struggling doctoral students. Luckily, years after, the dream came alive again and l began to nurse it. Even after a professional masters’ programme, eight years after my first masters, l was still nursing the idea of a doctoral degree. Finally, fifteen years after my first masters’, I was going through the newspaper in my office when l came across a postgraduate admission advert of a private university. There and then, a strong desire to apply for a doctoral degree came over me and was so strong that l did not tell anybody so as not to get discouraged, particularly because of the high school fees. As a matter of fact, being a civil servant should have been my worry, but l just felt strong in my mind that it would work out itself.

Honestly, from the time of my sending my application to getting admission, I did not have the money for the first year of the four and half years programme and l did not want to further stress my husband who was paying school fees for my sons in private secondary school and private university. All the same, l was strongly determined to start it with complete trust that God would make the way as l went through the journey. With an undaunted mental will, He did beyond my expectations, with awesome colleagues, lecturers that were as interested for us to complete the programme as at when due as we were. 

One may want to ask how l was able to overcome the initial financial hurdle. Like l said, with the burning passion in me and a complete trust in God to provide the necessary fees, my eyes became open to certain opportunities of side hustle with two of my friends, which gave me added income to my salary. I immediately cut down on certain expenses like buying new clothes and frivolous social outings, and prioritised my needs, particularly as the school allowed for instalment payment of fees, over the semesters. 

To become mentally strong, is about shifting your whole perspective, since it is human nature to be afraid of things that we cannot control or to crumble in the face of difficulty. It is the fight or flight response that is embedded in who we are. Unfortunately, once you are in that mind-set you are giving your mental power away to a circumstance and the only power that you have is really the power of perception. And when you shift your perception and just feel like: I can handle this, I can do this,  I can turn this around, I can use this to my good — then you gain that ability. 

Mental strength is about knowing that you are creating your reality, just like l did as a young girl in secondary school. We create our reality by our thoughts, our beliefs, our actions, our habits. And sure, sometimes things happen out of our control, but most of the time, we do not go far away from achieving our dreams.  

 Nwawolo, PhD, writes in via

hopenwawolo@yahoo.com

 

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Mental Health

How To Identify Fake Friends

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Prof. Stella Roy-Omoni

Most people surround themselves with fake friends who are killing them subtly and are smiling with them. You need to identify the genuineness of your so- called friend before he/she destroys you.

Identifying a fake friend can involve noticing certain behavioral patterns:

1. Lack of Support: They might be absent or unsupportive during your challenging times, showing disinterest or avoiding your needs.

2. One-sided Relationships: They tend to benefit more from the friendship without reciprocating care or effort.

3. Gossip and Betrayal: Fake friends might gossip about you behind your back or betray your trust.

4. Inconsistent Behavior: Their actions and words may not align consistently, making it hard to trust them.

5. Conditional Friendship: They’re around only when it suits their interests or when they need something from you.

6. Manipulative or Self-centered:They may manipulate situations for their benefit or constantly talk about themselves without considering your feelings or experiences.

Being mindful of these traits can help distinguish between genuine friends and those who may not have your best interests at heart. Trusting your instincts and observing behaviors over time often reveals the authenticity of a friendship.

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Mental Health

Building And Reinforcing Teams (3) (16)

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Building And Reinforcing Teams (14)

By Akindotun Merino
When you find yourself excessively self-oriented, this is a sign that you need to deepen your humility and refocus on serving others. Here are some ways to help you foster a greater sense of humility:

Allow others to be first and foremost. Insisting on being the first in line, the first to raise your hand in a class, the first to get the parking spot, and so on, has a tendency to inflate one’s sense of self-importance. However, when you allow others to have the spotlight or be first, it gives you a better vantage point to appreciate their gifts and what they are able to bring to the table. And when you can do this, you actually find yourself in a better position to lead others because you understand how they can best contribute.

Don’t insist on being right. Nobody likes to be wrong, including other people. When you are wrong it puts you in a vulnerable position, which can be scary. However, vulnerability is often what makes a person beautiful and appreciable. Allowing others the legitimacy of their beliefs without correction from you is a charitable act.

Listen to what other people think more than telling them what you think. Dale Carnegie once said that the sweetest sound to anyone is the sound of their own voice. Really paying attention to what other people have to say without having to correct or undermine them helps you to stay oriented outward rather than being self-absorbed.

READ ALSO: Building And Reinforcing Teams 2 (15)

Try not to judge others. An old saying goes like this, “When you point a finger at someone else, you have three fingers pointing back at you.” While it is tempting to judge another person, to assess what they are doing and how they are doing it, when you do so, you are presuming that you know better. Unfortunately, unless you have lived the experiences of another person, you cannot know what is best for them. Your grasp on another person’s situation will always be incomplete because you don’t have the complete picture.

Finally keep your balance. Throughout the whole process of becoming a more effective leader and a more effective human being, two tools can help smooth the way. The first is developing a greater sense of gratitude. When you wake up in the morning, or while you drink your coffee or eat breakfast, either write down in a notebook or type on your computer a list of five things for which you are grateful. If you keep this gratitude journal every day, it will have a cumulative effect on your keeping a positive outlook.

The second tool’s importance cannot be understated. No matter how much you have on your plate at any given time, it is important that you take the time to play. Whether this is a hobby such as painting or an activity such as playing video games, make a point of scheduling play time for yourself at least two to three times a week. This will help you to balance out all the stress you have in your life.

Dr. Akindotun Merino is a Professor of Psychology, CEO of Jars Group and Mental Health Commissioner in California. Feel free to share your successes and challenges:

Prof. Akindotun Merino
info@akinmerino.com
YouTube.com/akinmerino
Instagram: @drakinmerino 

Twitter: @drakindotun

 

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